Slumber's Call

 

    I destroy myself in parts,
    When pain takes me over
    The nail ends crack in bits
    And lips shed their skin
    Spitting out dew drops of blood
    That hold the redness of 
    The burning anguish within.
    I want to escape and fly away
    To chasms unknown and 
    Break the strings of memory.
    I yearn to just escape and
    Never come back to this 
    Deadly world of questions and
    Answers, never-ending misunderstandings
    Where people pretend to 
    Know their loved ones, but
    Fail to understand them
    Fail to acknowledge the other's pain
    Fail to address the unaddressed
    Where silence knits a thousand tents
    Closed spaces, each far from the other.
    This world where love is pain
    And memory is a scar
    Where kindness is malice
    Often mistook as pretence in chains
    Where being you is an offence
    Where loving is a sin
    Where longing is mockery
    Where leaving is solace
    Where loss is death and
    Where courage is cowardice,
    This is a space from where I want to leave
    Leave forever and never return
    So I try to sleep, shutting my bereaved
    Eyes to the smirking face of the world
    Wishing to drown and dissolve
    In the wrinkled folds of the blanket
    To disappear without answers into
    The deep well that sleep digs in bits

    Into that hollowness and to close
    The lid once and forever, so that
    Turning back becomes an impossibility 
    But every single time, sleep deceives
    It drains itself, and turns me over
    With the eyes protruding into this 
    Dark furnace of mess, witnessing
    The lighted world that awaits to
    Knock me into despair, again.
    What I see is nothing but a 
    Colourful world that takes away
    My colours and adorns itself
    A blinding thief that has no shame.

    - Vinaya Mary 

       10/23